There are exactly two Brendan Frasier Mummy movies. The first one came out in 1999, and the second in 2001. You might stumble upon a sequel. We do not believe in that one. And neither does the franchise, and we are getting another Mummy movie in a year or so to confirm that because the director stated that the third one is not canon. Don’t bother with the prequel, either. It’s just these two.

So let us relax with some of the most fun you can have with an action/comedy/horror double feature.

Now, yes, there is an obvious quality drop between the two films, mostly in the form of the the Scorpian King. It’s really bad CGI. Like, really, really bad. I’m not sure what happened to the budget here. And then there’s this *spoiler* line delivery that is on par with Darth Vader’s “NOOOO!”. I dare you not to laugh. It is impossible.

But otherwise, Returns is still very watchable. How many times have you watched The Mummy before? Are there people who haven’t seen it? Who are they? Why are they? Let me know. 

Starting off our film suggestions with a delightfully bizarre comedy from 1992, say hello to Death Becomes Her. Incredibly quotable and filled with talent, it is both timeless in its themes and a very, very 90s.

This film tries very hard to make peak Bruce Willis look unattractive with a horrible mustache, but you can’t fool us, film. We know he’s hot. Speaking of hot, Isabella Rossellini is in this.

And Sean of the Dead enjoyers will recognize the original through the body hole shot. Is that what it’s called? I don’t know if it has a name. It’s gonna sound disgusting no matter what.

Thank goodness the ending was changed. You’ll notice some weird little things in this film that are a bit odd due to edits, but it doesn’t detract. Enjoy your watch or rewatch and then @ me what you think.

Let’s start off our October watchlist with a list of TV shows appropriate for Halloween and the general October vibe so you can fill up your month with watching. Obviously not an extensive list, just some personal favorites for Fall.

Interview With The Vampire : I cannot speak more highly of this show. You don’t need to care about the books or the previous film to enjoy this series. It is frankly some of the best TV ever made. If you don’t like it, you don’t like fun. And I don’t like you. Both seasons. Watch them now.

Dexter : Dexter premiered 20 years ago yesterday, in case you wanted to feel really old. Murdering bad guys is a special kind of wish fulfillment. I’m not saying I want to be a serial killer, but I’m not not saying that. Either way, it’s fun to watch. And while the later seasons of the original show get a little eeeehhhh and Original Sin was uuurrrrgggg, New Blood was cancelled to soon and Resurrection is back at the end of the this month. So catch up.

Widow’s Bay : This show works because if you like horror, you will appreciate the writing. And if you don’t like horror, you will still appreciate the writing as it’s a send-up of horror. Much like what Shaun of the Dead is to zombie movies. It’s got a plot,  but it’s solidly a comedy. It’ll probably be a 2 year wait for the next season (the death plague of multiple season waits is its own horror), but it’s not such a cliffhanger that you won’t enjoy the first season by itself.

Marianne : This is a one season French horror series. I don’t actually like most horror, so if I’m suggesting it to you, and it’s not even a comedy, it probably doesn’t suck. As far as horror series go, anyway. I think my biggest complaint was the egregious pretending empty cups are full of liquid acting. You’d think the French would respect the art of mime enough to know how to physically act like a cup has drink in it.

Being Human (UK) : A vampire, a werewolf, and a ghost move in together: great prompt for a joke, but instead it’s the premise of a supernatural drama  (at least for the first few seasons, it gets a little wonky eventually, as shows do) that’s also funny and somehow feels very relatable despite it being about violent supernatural nonsense.

Ghosts (UK) : A sitcom that feels like watching a bunch of friends do improv in costume, and it’s actually quite funny. It’s filled with British comedy actors I already liked, so it wasn’t a hard sell for me. Except for the ending. Don’t watch the last episode, and you can pretend the show ended on a high note instead.

What We Do In The Shadows : It would be weird if you haven’t already watched this show, but even if you already have, let’s do a rewatch this month. I’ll obviously be suggesting the film later this month. I think Waititi is giving us a werewolf sequel film soon. Or, whatever soon is to productions now. Like 5 years? 10?

Wellington Paranormal : In the What We Do In The Shadows cinematic universe, this show is incredibly funny. There’s a bit with a plastic bag that I cannot watch without cry-laughing. And why is the word “werewolf” so funny in a New Zealand accent?

That should give you enough to watch for the next 30 days. And if not, I’ll be suggesting (and rewatching) October vibe films every other day for the rest of the month. And I think I’ll save Halloween TV episode suggestions for next year.

Okay, I mean that more metaphorically. You can use your computer to watch TV. It’s fine. I more mean stop being Very Online. Delete Tiktok. You don’t need a YouTube account. No corporate owned social media, no short-form video, no stupid fucking talking heads and edits and whatever the fuck else is going on. Climb every mountain, block every ad.

Do you remember “pivot to video“? When Facebook lied about how popular video was and faked all the numbers to trick content creators into video content because they were told that’s what people wanted? It’s not by chance that this coincided with the decline of literacy that’s happening right now.

Fiction narratives aka storytelling is a vital part of how human brains make sense of the world. When I yell at you to watch more TV, I do not mean “reality” bullshit. Like, maybe you can watch a baking show. But that’s it! Do not waste your precious time on this Earth on shit that is actively trying to destroy you and society. What companies are doing to people’s brains with short form video now will hopefully one day be a crime. Until then, I would urge you to find things to do that don’t involve influencers, streamers or anywhere you might start arguing with bots or be exposed to AIslop.

I worked in social media for over a decade. I know what I’m talking about. Run.

Run into the loving arms of TV, Books, and Film.